According to the 16 Personalities test, I’m a 97% introvert. Yeah, 97, which means I’m only three off from being 100% introverted.
I’m also 91% turbulent, which means I’m highly self-conscious and sensitive to stress.
And yet…it’s not okay to be this way and it makes me feel like I have to constantly apologize for being the way I am. I receive so much negativity solely because I’m not as vocal as everyone else and I tend to keep to myself BECAUSE I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.
I’m highly paranoid. I panic around people even if they’re merely passing by, and I legitimately believe everyone thinks terribly of me even if they don’t know me. Because EVERYTHING makes me anxious, it’s hard for me to talk to ANYONE unless I’m familiar with the people. Hell, I even my hands shake when I’m at home eating—alone or not. On top of that, I’ve been depressed for years.
Here’s the thing I don’t understand: why does that give anyone permission to make me feel inferior? Why is it okay to make ANYONE who’s even remotely different feel less? I mean, it’s made me feel worse and hasn’t exactly eased my self-doubt; I can imagine it’d do the same to anyone else who’s experienced similar.